How to Cultivate Confidence From Within
“Confidence within” isn’t a formal psychological or scientific term. However, the concept is rooted in psychological and self-development theories. It generally refers to a person's ability to cultivate a sense of self-assuredness, worth, and belief in their abilities without relying on external validation or approval.
Confidence within doesn't mean being perfect or free from self-doubt. It’s about having a solid foundation of belief in your ability to navigate life's challenges and opportunities.
Causes of Confidence Within
Here are some things that can influence your level of confidence within:
- Self-awareness: Understanding your strengths and weaknesses, your core values, and your beliefs helps you have a realistic perception of yourself. With this knowledge, you can be more confident in your abilities and decisions.
- Positive self-esteem: Having a positive self-image and valuing yourself is essential for inner confidence. People with high self-esteem tend to believe in their abilities and are less likely to be overly affected by criticism.
- Goal achievement: Setting and achieving goals can give you a sense of accomplishment and validate your abilities, leading to increased self-confidence.
- Self-compassion: Treating yourself with kindness and understanding, even when facing failures or setbacks, helps you maintain confidence.
- Social support: Having a strong support network of friends, family, mentors, and colleagues can provide encouragement and validation, positively impacting your confidence.
- Positive role models: Having positive role models or mentors who exemplify the qualities and confidence you admire can inspire you to develop similar confidence within yourself.
- Overcoming challenges: Successfully overcoming a challenge reinforces your belief in your ability to handle difficult situations, leading to increased confidence. Again, you “prove” to yourself that you can do difficult things.
Tips to Cultivate Confidence Within
- Quiet the inner critic: Negative self-talk erodes confidence. If it becomes a constant habit, it can be debilitating. Positive affirmations help, but they don’t have to be anything grandiose.
- Remember a success: When you’re in the throes of insecurity, it can seem like you never feel confident. Remind yourself of something that seemed intimidating at first but is now effortless. Maybe you felt a sense of overwhelm when you started a new job, but now you feel polished and competent. Or think of a skill you learned, like playing a musical instrument or a sport, that felt super awkward at first.
- Stop comparing: By comparing, we allow our self-worth to be determined by others. President Theodore Roosevelt said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” It might also be the thief of self-confidence. It can be difficult to stop comparing; our culture seems to encourage it. Unsurprisingly, spending too much time on social media has been linked to negative comparisons to others and also to depression (Samra et al., 2022). So limit your social media use, and when you are online, remember that people tend to only show the good stuff. The reality can be very different.
- Work on your posture: Can something as simple as changing your posture help with self-confidence? Studies show body posture can influence thoughts and behavior. For example, slumping has been linked to less persistence and feelings of helplessness (Briñol et al., 2009). One study showed that participants had more confidence when tackling a difficult math problem by sitting in an erect posture as opposed to a slouched posture. Not only did they feel more confident, but their performance also improved (Peper et al., 2018).
- Show self-compassion: Developed by psychologist Kristin Neff, self-compassion involves treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a good friend. Practicing self-compassion can lead to reduced self-criticism and increased self-acceptance, contributing to a stronger sense of internal confidence (Neff et al., 2007). You wouldn’t criticize a friend for messing something up, right? Try to be just as considerate of yourself. Instead, you might say something like, “This is difficult. How can I take care of myself right now?”
- Challenge yourself: When you do something despite some self-doubt or even a little fear, you prove to yourself that you can handle challenges. This accomplishment gives you stronger self-confidence the next time something comes up. It won’t be as scary because you’ve proven to yourself that you can do difficult things, even when you feel a bit insecure.
In Sum
Creating confidence within isn’t about eliminating all doubts or fears but rather about building a resilient mindset that allows us to face challenges with determination. By embracing our strengths, learning from failures, and practicing self-care, we can gradually cultivate a sense of confidence from within. True confidence comes from understanding and valuing your worth, despite setbacks or difficult circumstances and regardless of others' judgments.
References
- Briñol, P., Petty, R. E., & Wagner, B. (2009). Body posture effects on self‐evaluation: A self‐validation approach. European Journal of Social Psychology, 39(6), 1053–1064.
- Neff, K. D., Kirkpatrick, K. L., & Rude, S. S. (2007). Self-compassion and adaptive psychological functioning. Journal of Research in Personality, 41(1), 139–154.
- Peper, E., Harvey, R., Mason, L., & Lin, I. M. (2018). Do better in math: How your body posture may change stereotype threat response. NeuroRegulation, 5(2), 67.
- Samra, A., Warburton, W. A., & Collins, A. M. (2022). Social comparisons: a potential mechanism linking problematic social media use with depression. Journal of Behavioral Addictions, 11(2), 607–614.
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